I stood looking in the mirror today, reflecting upon the things I have overcome in during my life.
I reached in and began to disassemble the things that had been built over the last season of my life.
I think because I was so interested in how they worked. How GOD worked through them.
Somewhere in the midst, I saw the angle... It was refined like polished steal. The LIE.
...and I almost fell for it.
Several times during the last couple of years God would show me glimpses into the beautiful life he has planned for me. Not once did I question his sovereign plan, because lets face it ... he has better plans! Now that being said, I began to wonder from the outset of the book "when" all these things would be manifested.
I yearned to hear the voice of the Lord tell me, it was time. Time to be free of all my shackles and move forward. Time for a word, time for someone to notice my book and the dream would begin. The things God spoke in my heart would auto manifest and I would be a household name before I knew it.
Here is the trouble with most dreamers, creatives are much the same around the world... they dream.
It is those very dreams that God rises in their being and has them call out to the world.
These dreams can become in balanced with all that success promises, it never promises a level head or that even if success is your designated environment it would be all that you imagined.
I longed to see the promises God talked to me about come to their most amazing conclusion or at least the one in my head. I had not built a shrine to the destiny God showed me but I did badger him with it day in and day out. There was definite impatiences with in my waiting upon the Lord to set me free of this state of being that was not anticipated success.
so God asked you to write a book. Asked you to create time and space and gave you the hope and security you need to get the job done and now with all his brilliance you less than rewarded for it.
So you say to yourself, it's ok... God will come through! He said it, I believe it ... and that's it, it's done.
until a few days later when of course, it's not done and your telling God "hey, I thought you were going to do this thing... you know the future you showed me?"
God is so good he begin to recite the love in his heart to you. and conveys with all his holy insight that YOU are his child. ( I have melted by this point and have been brought to my rightful place of humble)
Fast forward to 9 months later. Success still has not banged on my door even a little bit.
I begin to feel that I have missed it, or quit frankly GOD must have.... I don't see anything God showed me would be here when I finished my life long pursuit to write a book.
Till this morning, offended and puffed up with pride... I sit down to pray. As, I was praying, something hit me. I was beginning, not all the way there ... but just beginning to see bitterness eek into my usually humble heart. WHAT? Where did that come from? You know, the enemy ALMOST got away with it.
That sneaky devil was being subversive! I knew I had to act fast. I asked God to loose any bitterness I had cultivated toward him. I asked him to forgive this crazy heart for even entertaining the lie of the enemy.
Here is what I realized. 1. if the enemy can not get away with accusing you to yourself, he will accuse GOD! *I was in my heart accusing the one true God of not completing the work he began.
2. When you set out with God there is no parachute. When we walk in faith we seek to manifest faith to an unbelieving world. We seek to soar with out a net. There is simply no half way mark with God.
It is all the way ... or nothing.
Today, I realized the trouble with relying on safety is that there is not faith involved with parachutes.
God will manifest his dreams for you when your soul prospers ... and not before. Today God showed me that I not only was subject to the enemies lie but my soul hadn't prospered. If I am honest, I knew that... I knew I had some work to do ... but work is hard and it goes with out saying that sometimes your just tired of the world always judging the things of God inside you.
Honestly, I had to admit... I hadn't gotten to the point to where I used my faith more than my sight. God has been trying to teach not to rely on my sight so much as the faith in my heart to rely on God to get me to his promises. To sit back and let go... I will get there one day but none of this is on my time line.
God is a good God and one day ... I will be at his right hand and I will get to say thank you for all the ways you chose to love me. Even when I wasn't grown up enough to know what was going on.
As for the enemy, he was foiled, once again God got his man. Some things God just does because he can... and disappointing the enemy is just a bonus!
God bless you ... and know that God is always with you!